I think it's hard to accept that "I'm not ok and I don't know how to feel better" and to do that without villainizing myself was important to get me started with therapy. It's also hard to open up, especially when your story to yourself is that this is not normal or acceptable behavior for yourself. When you are already judging yourself, it's hard to let others.
TLDR: Understanding the balance between blaming yourself for not being ok and understanding and accepting you can still take action to feel better is hard.
In the beginning stages, it was crazy how good it feels to say things out loud and recognize that it's not just you. The best way I've heard it put, "The first lie of the darkness is that you are alone and you suffer uniquely". Saying things out loud in a safe environment also allowed me to separate myself from my experiences.
It's crazy how big a role the story we tell ourselves plays in our experiences and feelings. Having to reflect once a week and having someone just gently ask questions about key assumptions or parts of yourself can truly shine a light on some part of yourself. That eventually leads to understanding the parts of yourself and your emotions in a way that you can love them, which can be very freeing.
I've gone from feeling depressed, suicidal and never expecting to love life again to actually seeing more love, colour and quality in life than ever before. I also have the ability to be more like the person I want to be than ever before!
The more nuanced answer is I am more aware of my instincts, tendencies etc. which means I can catch myself before falling into certain loops. I can create a life for myself that truly fills me with joy. I also feel like I have a framework for understanding myself and updating all of those things.
Feeling "not like myself" was a big part of me feeling depressed. Working with my parts and understanding their needs and their roles helps me understand my feelings and accept them. It helps me ensure that I am aware of what is important to me in ways that I've not been aware of before. This understanding helps me [be] non-judgemental of myself but also lets me make progress in the directions that I want to.
Joshua has a great way of making space for what I wanted to discuss and let me take the center stage. Not only was I able to be incredibly honest about my current thoughts and challanges, but I was also able to talk about things that did or did not work. He also does a good job of asking the right questions and helping develop skills in an incredibly subtle way. Some of the resources he shared will stay with me forever. I still look at them on a bad day or send them to friends when I am trying to express myself.
-Former Client
Josh’s calm and patient demeanor really helped me when I needed it the most.
I started therapy because I wasn’t happy with life and I felt very overwhelmed with everything. I was a little unsure of how therapy would go, but with some time, Josh helped me open up and connect with myself on my value as a person and accept and embrace who I am. He was always there to listen when I needed to talk.
-Former Client
I was anxious to start therapy for the first time because I didn't know what to expect and... I was struggling with daily anxiety. What if I don't like my therapist? What if therapy makes things worse? What if... What if... What if... (Anxiety. See?)
I needed therapy.
I would ask my partner, family, and friends hundreds of seemingly harmless questions like "Should I wear jeans or khakis?" or "Should I order soup or salad?" I had issues setting much-needed boundaries both personally and professionally, and even though I spent time looking inward and considering my own emotions every now and then, I didn't spend nearly enough time doing that.
On my first day of therapy with Josh, we reviewed a new patient intake form, discussed my personal goals, and laid out a plan for the coming weeks. Josh and I immediately hit it off. He's warm, understanding, and actively listens. During the course of our year and a half working together, there were appointments where I felt like I made great personal strides and realizations and other appointments where I had to embrace treatment that I otherwise would normally push away (i.e., Internal Family Systems / Parts Work).
Ultimately though, having a positive attitude, accepting new challenges and treatments, and being kind to myself led to tremendous personal growth. My anxiety, which will never fully go away, has dramatically decreased, I have a much richer understanding of who I am as a person (thanks to the IFS Parts Work), and I understand that it's okay to tell bosses and those closest to me in life "No" without providing further explanation.
I would 100% recommend working with Josh if you want to continue learning about yourself and growing as an individual. Our time working together has come to an end (for now), but I know that the door's always open to reach back out.
-Former Client
I met Josh mid 2021. I had been looking for a therapist for 6 months. COVID had me going crazy. Work had me worn down and I knew I was dealing with a lot of PTSD. I am so thankful that Josh had availability on his case load. He was extremely easy to talk to. The first few sessions he was getting to know me, how I think and how I process information. I was able to open up about feeling burnt out at work amongst some of the other challenges that I was faced with being a health care provider during the height of the pandemic. He was able to navigate my anxiety and even give me tools I can use to help keep calm.
After 6 months of meeting Josh, I felt like at was at an all time high. I was constantly happy and felt like I had a great handle on life. Then I got severely injured. My life took a complete turn. I was laid off from my job and for the first time I felt financially insecure. I was unable to care for myself and had to depend on others. My mental health took a nose dive. Josh was an integral part of my physical and mental recovery. He made himself available weekly (especially in the beginning stages of recovery). He was highly skilled in cognitive behavioral therapy which I feel helped me keep my anxiety under control while I focused on the physical aspects of my recovery. Josh gave me weekly tasks to focus on and recommended documenting my recovery process though journaling. I’m glad he did as I am able to read my journal entries and reflect on how far I’ve come. 6 months post injury I felt like I was able to see life through a new lens. I felt more optimistic, stronger and most importantly less anxious! I was experiencing more good days than bad days. I appreciate all the tools and hard work Josh was able to do.
Josh is an excellent therapist. He is extremely knowledgeable and helpful and actually shows empathy and compassion. He is able to meet me where I am in my mental health journey.
-Former Client
The following testimonies below are provided by professional colleagues.
“Josh carries a calm presence and insightful clarity as an IFS practitioner. He offers a profound respect and spaciousness to all parts and truly lives the IFS adage "all parts welcome." His sense of patience with pacing and capacity to offer empathetic attention is inherently healing. I feel honored to experience how he has come to know and practice the model.”
-Sarah Ann LaFleur, MA, ERYT-500
Joshua and I co-led a reflection group for a level one IFS training. He has a deep understanding of the IFS model, and held such a compassionate presence with others throughout the training. Joshua is a gem, truly genuine, kind and thoughtful. It was an honor to work with him.
-Carin Christy, MA, LMHC
IFS Certified Therapist
“I had the great pleasure of supervising Josh while he was working on his hours for licensure. I found him to be a thoughtful, caring, and compassionate therapist. He was also very attentive to his client’s needs and worked to provide them with the best possible care. Josh continues to be a conscientious therapist in wanting to cover all aspects of the therapeutic process. I highly recommend Josh as a therapist.”
-Cathryn Leff PhD, LMFT
Certified Clinical Trauma Professional
Adjunct Professor of Psychology at Pepperdine University