Internal Family Systems - Discovering Your Inner World
Have you ever experienced any of these moments?
You're determined to start a new healthy habit, but suddenly find yourself procrastinating or self-sabotaging, wondering why you can't just follow through
During a disagreement, you become angry or shut down completely, later thinking, "I don't know what came over me"
You set boundaries with loved ones only to immediately feel guilty and backtrack, despite knowing your limits are reasonable
After a small mistake, a harsh inner critic berates you with "you always mess things up,"
You feel torn between the part of you that craves deep connection and the part that builds walls to avoid getting hurt again
You feel clear on what you want in your life yet you find yourself not living in a way that is in alignment with that vision
What is Internal Family Systems Therapy?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is an evidence-based approach to psychotherapy that acknowledges the natural multiplicity of the mind. Developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz in the 1980s, IFS views the mind as naturally divided into sub-personalities or "parts," each with its own perspectives, feelings, and qualities. IFS offers a compassionate and effective approach to working with these different "parts" of ourselves. Rather than struggling against unwanted behaviors or berating ourselves when we fall short, IFS helps us understand the underlying patterns driving our actions.
Through IFS therapy, you can connect with your calm, clear, and centered sense of Self while understanding the purpose behind problematic patterns. This approach helps address the fears that drive self-defeating behaviors and develops a curious, compassionate relationship with all aspects of yourself.
IFS therapy involves a process called "going inside" – safely exploring your internal landscape with curiosity instead of judgment. This approach can be helpful for those who have experienced grief, trauma, or feelings of worthlessness that have led to compensatory behaviors like perfectionism, busyness, or focusing on others' needs while neglecting your own.
Working with an IFS therapist provides a safe, evidence-based method for addressing intense emotions with respect for your pace, direction, and need for safety. There's no pressure to "do it right" or reveal difficult content before you're ready—it's a collaborative process where you set the pace and make the decisions.
The Power of Multiplicity
From an Internal Family Systems (IFS) perspective, we recognize that having different "parts" isn't a sign of mental illness—it's simply a normal and inherent characteristic of the human psyche. The concept of multiplicity of the mind and the Self has been documented throughout history across different cultures, religions, and figures including Plato and Socrates to the Buddha in 5th Century BCE to Carl Jung. Common sayings such as “My heart says one thing while my mind says another”, “You know, a part of me feels like ….” , and the image of the angel and devil on our shoulders also illustrate how parts may show up in our everyday experience. Just like in a family, each part in your system has a specific role it plays — often developed early on as a way to adapt, protect, or manage the emotional environment and navigate the external world. Parts also relate to each other just like family members do — they react to one another, form alliances, polarizations, or even go silent.
Aside from our parts there is also an innate core sense of who we are called the Self. The Self serves as the natural internal leader that can help guide, listen to, and heal your inner system and parts. All of us are born with the Self but due to trauma, attachment wounds, or other challenging experiences parts become burdened by extreme beliefs and emotions resulting in them taking over. These burdens can force these parts into extreme and often destructive roles. These roles are not the essence of the part but rather adaptations for survival. IFS does not aim to eliminate parts. Instead, the focus is on helping them release their burdens and transform back into their naturally valuable states which brings back balance and harmony into our internal system.
Reconnecting Mind and Body: The Embodiment Dimension of IFS
One of the powerful aspects of IFS therapy is how it can foster a deeper mind-body connection. Many of us have learned to live primarily "in our heads," disconnected from the wisdom and sensations of our bodies. This separation often occurs when parts of us have taken on protective roles to shield us from painful physical or emotional experiences. When you improve the mind-body connection, you can foster a deeper emotional awareness, shifting from cognitive overthinking into a more embodied, grounded awareness. Trauma also often gets "stuck" in the body and when the mind and body reconnect in a safe way, you create space for release and integration.
Improving the mind-body connection can provide benefit with increasing awareness of when your nervous system is dysregulated and responding earlier. Rather than treating emotions, thoughts, and physical experiences as separate, IFS plus body-based awareness brings all parts of you into the healing process. Through engaging in IFS you'll learn to access the body's natural wisdom as a guide to your internal system.
Is IFS Right for You?
IFS can be helpful for people experiencing:
Anxiety and depression
Trauma and PTSD
Relationship difficulties
Inner criticism or shame
Burn out and fatigue
Difficulty managing emotions
Identity exploration
Spiritual growth and personal development
By developing harmony among your internal parts, you become more fully present and powerful in your choices, able to live a more fulfilled and meaningful life. If you are interested in learning more about how this approach may benefit you contact me for a free 15 minute consultation call.