It’s difficult to admit this but vulnerability has been something that I’ve struggled with for most of my life. Growing up as a Korean-American male there wasn’t much space for me to express my emotions. It wasn’t until later in my adult years that I learned of the importance of vulnerability for relationships as well as my own emotional wellbeing. Despite recognizing the benefits there were still parts of me that felt ambivalent when the opportunities to practice expressing my emotions or needs emerged. It felt much easier to shut down and dismiss what I was feeling than deal with the potential repercussions of exposing myself. Over time, I experienced moments where vulnerability strengthened my relationship with others as well as myself and it became easier. It has been a life long practice ever since.
Even now as a licensed therapist there are times now where it can be challenging for me to show vulnerability when I’m feeling emotionally reactive or shame. This TED Talk with Brene Brown has been a great reminder for myself of the power of vulnerability and is something that I rewatch periodically.
That being said, there is a caveat with vulnerability- not everyone will be deserving of your vulnerability and some will even try to use it against you. It is important to discern between the safe and unsafe people in your life. We don’t have to continually try to open ourselves up to people who hurt us for the sake of practicing vulnerability.
If you’ve been hurt in the past from opening up, being vulnerable can feel scary or challenging. Know that it is okay to take it slow and allow yourself to build trust over time.
If you decide to watch this video I invite you to check in with what comes up for you while watching. Do you notice any particular thoughts or emotions? Perhaps there are some bodily sensations that are felt in your stomach or chest. Take time to notice the different parts of you that show up and inquire with curiosity.